Redneck and Proud!

I was thinking this morning about my redneck roots.  I am pretty stinking proud of them.  I only get them from one side of the family, but I got enough from that side, to make my life about as redneck as it comes.

Yeppers, long tradition of red neck.. Proud Red Neck Mommy here: so..

You might be a Red Neck Mommy if:

You have ever been at a camp out where they tore apart a fully restored, Dodge Charger and set it up on blocks next to their camper, just to win the $5.00 prize.

You have ever wrapped a fellow camper's tent in duct tape while they were sleeping off the previoius nights booze..

You have ever had to buy your own camp ground because you have been asked to never return to public camp grounds during RED NECK CAMP OUT WEEK.

You have ever hung Granny Panties from the clothes line at your campsite, (granny panties that you shopped garage sales all year for, just so you could hang them there and win the prize)

You have ever caused people from Arkansas to pack up their stuff and move to the other side of a camp ground.

You have ever rigged an IV to look as if you were taking vodka straight into the vein, and gone to watch a parade and gone to your class reunion that way.

You have ever removed the children from a 3 foot plastic pool, so the adults could cool off at said camp out.

You have ever played, BBQ it,, eat it... and won!!!

You now know that Cheetos are great,, BBQ ed on a stick.. but grapes will make you puke.

You have ever drag raced the hearse carrying your Grandmother's body to her grave,,, and lost to your uncles.

You have ever raced the Limo carrying the pall bearers..and won...

You know exactly where "turn 4 @ Daytona" is, West of your hometown.

You have ever stolen another camper's air bed, so you didn't get wet floating down the river.

You have ever sneaked through a camp ground in the middle of the night, stealing shoes and throwing them in the tops of trees.

You have ever held a family race, consisting of boats made paper plates..and given awards to the winners...

You have ever jumped into a flooded river, and called it fun.

You have ever screamed at your children to hang on to their inner tubes,, while you went to save the inner tube with the beer...(in said flooded river)

You have ever hijacked a semi hauling JOLLY RANCHER candy, at a parade... and got a ransom for it..

In fact... I think anyone who has ever had fun,, doing something that cost nothing...and injured no one... is in fact... A RED NECK MOMMY... and you should... stand up...and be proud of it!


  1. omg. you hijacked a jolly rancher truck. Can I please, please, please be part of your family.

  2. This is hilarious. I adore your family. We had a similar experience with beers and tubes and fishing off the floating dock at an island cottage a couple summers ago. And I have a few "island living" posts to show for it!

    1. I will have to check those stories out. I love crazy shit the family does.